who feels insecure?

[mishka422]

I have been dwelling in "land of self loathing" for so long that I'm not sure how to get out!

I honestly have never had much self-confidence but being rejected by the man I have loved for half of my life has completely destroyed any miniscule amount I may have gained over the years.

Over the last 10 months I have been seeing a diet doctor and have lost over 60 pounds. I still have a way to go but I'm so much healthier. My H basically gave me confidence in social situations that I had never had before because I felt like with him by my side it wouldn't matter if they didn't like me, I still had him to love me. Now I just feel like I'm floundering.

I'm supposed to go to a birthday party tonight at a friend's house but I know there will be over 50 people there most of which I don't know. That scares the bejezees out of me.

I'm still debating this. I just don't know how to gain any confidence. I'm smart and can be funny but I'm not what anyone would consider a pretty woman. I guess I just need to find something that will give me a boost.

Ok, I think I'm talking myself into going to this party. If I'm going to go I need to get in the shower right now. Yeah, I've talked myself into it. Wish me luck.