Most people walk in with X amount of dollars in their pockets and walk away from the table when the money is gone. When you start writing I.O.U.'s with your emotional checkbook, you're in for trouble. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Mako, I like the fact that your analogy had the word "craps" in it, since the choice really leaves you with a lot of it.
As for change, well, anytime an LBSer sees a new behavior that's a 180, or what I call the "UNPRECEDENTED", I see possible red (but good red) flags that indicate the possibility of something real and deep that is changing.
The stats about 2nd M's indicate that someone learned little or nothing from their first D. I read somewhere that IF the reason for a divorce is OP, and the WAS marries the OP, THOSE marriages have an 80% chance of divorce.
Maybe it's karma. But I take your point FIB, and I think you take mine. God knows you and I have changed. Well, I know I have. And I bet you have. So, what does that mean?
One great piece of news for us all....
In this life, in the "game" of love, we lose more often than not. But guess what? We only have to "win" once. That's it. We win one time, and we've won the whole game and it will all have been worth it. We only need one touch down, and then we have our partner for life. Unlike craps, in love we can bet often and a lot, and lose and lose and lose but if we win just once with real love, we don't have to play anymore. Even if the R was tough and hard as hell at times. In the end, if we have found the right one to love, that's enough for me. I think.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Well said 25. I prefer to think that the 60% failure rate belongs to the ones who don't change. As for the 80% number...I've read that too...but also applied that 80% of WAS's regret it later on.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
