Ready2Change (II) - Detached

[Ready2Change]

Yesterday:

I addressed two issues with W. Writing down my feelings has worked several times, so I tried this method again.

First Note:

W, I am writing this letter to share my feelings with you. I am angry that you sold our stock without consulting me. I want to trust you with our joint assets. I need your assurance that we will discuss and reach a consensus when it comes to selling our joint assets. I understand that you felt you had the right to sell the stock. I appreciate you taking the time to understand how I feel. I would like to have a friendly discussion about what we are going to do with the check.

Thank you for understanding - H

She read it an apologized. She offered to split the money. She still wanted to use the money to retain a lawyer.

Then I hand her second note:

W- I am writing this letter to share my feelings with you. I feel embarrassed about the way I expressed my anger yesterday. I feel ashamed that I let my anger escalate to a point that exposed our kids to our situation before we intended. I understand your desire to get the process started. I am afraid you were skipping several key steps in the process that are critical to maintaining a friendly relationship. I understand that you believe hiring a lawyer is the proper action. I want this process to be as painless as possible. Each of us retaining a lawyer will be the most painful. If we need a mediator, I prefer that we both go together to find one. - H

W agreed not to get lawyer! (I believe she was honest).