God give me the patience and the strength...2

[theotherhalf]

an2m, i see that he is spinning, and waaaay out of control. i know that you don't believe me but I am letting him go. I have to. Of course I still love him and care about him, I worry for him. But I have no control over what he is doing and really don't care to try anymore. I also know that nothing I say or do is going to reach him or change a thing.

I am doing okay with interactions with him. I don't fly off the handle with him anymore. The other night on the phone my first (old) instict is to fly to my defense. To scream and holler and then cry. I did none of that. I was quiet and listened and validated what he was saying. Knowing the whole time he was so unjust in what he was saying. Knowing that he was lying to me the whole time.

He has not bought the harley. Wants to...but the money is not there. That is why he is so pissed at me, amongst whatever reasons. I DO NOT call him. Haven't for a long time. Only couple of times for kid issues or business over the last couple of months. And that gets less and less. I ONLY call him IF I HAVE to.

But this BS he threw at me about finances. He NEEDS to be apart of it. He NEEDS to see I am not screwing him. The bills are his responsiblity too. I told him to come here this morning to go over bills together so he can see all that is being done. Well he has yet to show up and haven't seen or heard from him since. And will not answer his phone.