Girlfriend.... I'm dying right now.. I'm already starting to get sore... and I am so out of shape! I had my first Ashtanga class today and man oh man.. it was tough. Good tough though.. and although I'm already starting to get sore I like that kind of sore feeling.. and I already can tell how it is affecting my mind in a positive way!!!
I just wanted to share this with you since you are very motivational/inspirational in the Yoga journey!
I am so proud of you!!!! Ashtanga is HARD CORE. That is awesome!!! I love that "good sore" feeling. I used to do Ashtanga in boston, but I couldn't find a good ashtanga teacher in atlanta. Hearing about your yoga journey is also very motivational for me !!
If you are interested in trying something new, I would really recommend an Anusara class. It is flow-based, like ashtanga or vinyasa, except not as fast, because they talk more about alingment. But the whole philosophy is based on opening the heart and revealing your own inner goodness. (Really different from a lot of exercise and yoga which is about dominating the body into submission). All the Anusara teachers have to go through extremely intense training, I think with the person who invented it, so there is a lot of built-in quality control. Basically I love it... there is a lot of Heart Language in it, which is really helping me with my journey right now, sounds like you might like it too! I wish we lived in the same place, we could go together!!
I didn't call yet, I think I am going to wait another week. I am trying to figure out what is going on with me. I still feel sick, now I am getting really bad allergies, i can't sleep at night, then during the day I am so exhausted I can't get anything done, I am too tired to work out which usually re-calibrates my sleeping, and b/c I am not getting anything done I am getting really angry with myself and frustrated. I think something is out of whack, I don't exactly know what, but I didn't want to call him when I was feeling cranky, exhausted, angry !!!!
I think I am just worn out. I am going to talk about it with my counselor on monday. I feel like it might be something medical but nothing that's wrong is a big deal, it's just like a lot of little things are wrong and I just want to feel totally better!!
Hi T Sorry to hear that you are struggling with your health. Maybe you need to rent the DVD's of all the "Friends" series as a 180 to get some rest?!? (ha! ha!) I am very concerned that you dont know Joey Tribbiani's pick up line! Seriously I hope you are feeling much better soon, and that between you, your counselor and your doctor you get to the bottom of it. Not feeling physically on top of things can easily get you in a bad downward spiral. If you need a holiday in sunny Australia you can stay with me! Or maybe you just need to accept that there is only so much you can expect of yourself in one day, and to make time to nurture yourself.
I like your plan of waiting a week. I hope having a plan helps you feel in control?
You are such a wonderful darling!!!! yes, it is just like everything feels a little off, and it's been that way since January. I actually slept really well last night which was *amazing*. (My sleep has been very erratic since bomb time in October). I love your idea about gorging myself on all of the DVDs of friends!!!! AND your idea of a vacation in AUSTRALIA!!!
-Yesterday I slept like a LOG!! Alleluia!! -Worked out today for the first time in a LONG time b/c I have been sick. Just did a little bit on the treadmill & stationary bike & then a little bit of yoga... feel so much better. -Maybe I will be able to get my body back on track after all!! -Went into school today on the WEEKEND (bonus points) to work on piano stuff for my test on Monday. I feel accomplished. -Did a lot of *online shopping*, ordered some very exciting new underwear, a pretty silk dress/nightie on megasale, a new sweater, AND... I won an ebay auction for ANOTHER pair of fluffy boots in "cornflower blue" !! Now, when we have our DB GAL reunion, if anyone feels the need to "blend in" more with the corsets, fluffy boots, etc, I have a spare pair ! (Essie?? Are you gonna take me up on this??)
-Yesterday I had an interesting experience with one of my best cello school friends. I realized an example of what my C is trying to teach me about sharing feelings vs. sharing structure. When I hung out with him, just silly and fun with no agenda, there was a lot more "connection". Then when I got into a bunch of stuff I'd been meaning to discuss with him, about career, cello, etc, I realized, Wow, so much less connection occurs when I have an "agenda". Gotta investigate this more...
-Another cellist gave a crazy concert last night... I was so exhausted by the time of the concert I was giggling and slap happy in the audience like a crazy girl. But it was lots of fun-- he even performed "A Night In Tunisia" on an electric cello with a jazz pianist and jazz drummer (!!) Super inspiring!!
One last thought about my situation. I realized that when I first met my B, I was the one who offered to give him my number, and I was the one who called him to ask him out on our first date. He told me later that he was 1) trying to wait a long enough time so he wouldn't seem "over-eager" and 2) trying to think of a really awesome event for him to ask me out to, but the only awesome thing he knew about was a month out, so he had been planning to wait a month to ask me out (!!) and then I called! Remembering this makes me wonder, not that I am planning on PURSUING AGGRESSIVELY, and not that he is planning to ask me out or *date me* or anything CRAZY like that, but I wonder if he is doing something along those lines now, and if I should be less hesitant to reach out, and show him that it's ok to call me.
Obviously you guys have already established that I need to call him again soon. Thank you for PUSHING ME!!
Just a thought... I am not trying to OVER ALI ANALYZE HERE!!
When I call him, if I need to leave a short voicemail, should I say the same thing I did before? "Hello, it's me! I would love to catch up with you, so give me a call, or I'll give you a call?"
Or do I need a "new line"? Have I already played the "catching up" line? Do I need a variation on that line?
These are the things I think about in bed at night... *sigh*.... I am so glad to have you guys who UNDERSTAND ME
I need to start wroking out. I have to figure out a schedule for free time and see what I will do....
T, you call. You do not talk to VM, you only say, it's T, I'll call you later. If he has your number fine. If he doesn't, leave your number as well.
Call him.
K
Call him
Call him
You' ve DBing your self. We have to figure out if there is something there or not. The most positive for me so far was your gut feeling. Remember, I've been there. I've done that. I never called but I had a wedding I was invited to and I knew he would be there as well, and I waited until then. That was on July 2nd, we broke up Dec 26. April he visits my best friends tells her he is seeing a girl, he has moved on, etc. etc. (She NEVER tells me the whole story) Around June the first reports came from friends he was asking what I was doing. I never called, waited.
Why did I say all this? Right!! First for the voice and secondly to say that although I did wait, in your case I would say, figure out what is going on.
One more thing, people here are following as good as they can the DB rules. If we don't get our M/R back in track, we at least have our good old selves back. You have clearly made HUGE progress as far as yourself is concerned. Now you have to see if you can get him back. If he doesn't see/hear/smell the changes he will not be drawn to you no matter how wonderful you have become. It's time for him to see the changes.
Hey T - I will definitely take you up on the boots. Can I have the pink ones?
I like what K said about the voicemail. K's response is perfect.
One Day & I have been enthusing over a book called "why Men Mary Bitches" - dont be too put off by the title, its not about being a bitch. But it might give you a different way to think about the pursuing thing, and the game that exists in all relationships (and when you know that the game exists its much easier to win!). It might help you be motivated to make BF (or all other potential loves in your entire life) work hard to get your attention.
You of course are the expert on your relationship.... so please ignore this advice if it doesnt fit..... but maybe how you pursued BF in the beginning and how you worked harder on the relationship was actually a turn off to him. And you dont want to make the same mistake again. So now you have to walk that very fine line of being available as a friend, but mysterious and non-pursuing as a lover. One Day walks that line very well. I know how to do it in theory but not so much in practice!!!
