I've been thinking about this question, and something just happened that really taught me something - at least about my XH, if not anyone else's.
My L asked med to get a mortgage discharge statement. Since stbx works at the institution where we have that mortgage, I asked him if he could do it for me. He initially agreed, then said no, it wouldn't be appropriate and, in fact, that the notary should be asking for it.
I called my L, who had spent the day in court and was not in a good mood! He actually got angry (never happened before) and said, "Do not ask him for ANYTHING! He is NOT your friend!" I said that he wants to get this over with too, so why shouldn't I ask him? L's reply: He's a lazy man, and the sooner you stop asking him for anything, the better off you'll be.
Whoa! So I called the branch that holds the mortgage and spoke with the manager. She asked me why STBX didn't just go and get a print-out himself!!! Now STBX is extremely private and I don't know if he wants anyone at work to know what's going on, but now he looks even stupider for not just getting it himself! ROFL!
Anyway, I said I didn't know why he wouldn't get it himself, and could she send it to me. I don't have a fax, and bank policy is that she can't scan and email it, so she would have to mail it.
I emailed stbx to tell him, and added that my L needs it to write up my offer, and it'll take a while b/c it was being mailed. Well, lo and behold, H suddenly found that he could, indeed get involved. He emailed the other manager, and asked her to fax it to my L.
The moral of this story: If your STBX or X is a lazy, narcissitic jerk, don't even bother asking him to do the simplest thing for you b/c unless he sees the value in it for HIMSELF, he won't.
Hope you're having fun, Althea!
N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
