Hanging in there....

[gForce]

I've been in Newcomers and have just started to lurk here.

I have the same frustrations in my own sitch. W still wants me to believe that she put a lot of effort in her attempt at reconciliation. But at the same time she never gave up OM ("hey, you can't say that - I stopped calling him for a couple of days!"). With OM always in the picture, she never really gave me or our M a chance to find a way back into her heart. She's moved out now and their R is in full bloom. Yet she wonders why I am angry at her?!? She has filed for D and I also have had enough.

As much as I love my wife, do I want to continue to fight for someone that has done what she has done to our lives? For a man that values commitment and M so much that he pursues a married woman and fights to break up her M? Her OM fantasy doesn't let her see that, and there is no rational way for anyone to convince her otherwise. She thinks that person will provide her with the love and understanding that she felt she was not getting from me? I think she'll eventually realize his sh** stinks as much as anyone's. No - my efforts are for me to move on now.

If that is where you are at, don't feel guilty about it. You need to look after yourself and your kids now. Keep an open mind if things change, but you'll be OK if they don't.