Financials set to be sorted.

[ACJ]

Well this week has been different . After our chat last weekend (about helping to free up some of my time so that I have time for fun) S15 has actually tried to do just that . I joked with him yesterday that he has become a wonderful little 'house-husband'. (actually not so much little as he is taller than me ). It has made so much difference to come home to less mess. The dishes being loaded on top of the dishwasher instead of in it always makes me angry but this week there has been none of that. I nearly crashed my car with the shock of seeing the washing hanging out when I came home from work on Thursday. Needless to say S15 will get his reward he has been working so hard towards. He hasn't been perfect b/c he still hasn't been coming in on time at night but I feel I have to show him that I appreciate the efforts he has been making.

D12 has always had the propensity to make me cry as deep down she is the most caring of my children. However, recently she has been a typical 'teenage witch' and I have struggled to handle that. However handled it I have and although I say it myself I have handled it far better than when D17 was at this point in her life. Before I shouted back in frustration now where possible I just refuse to engage in the shouting match or walk away. Those of you who are fellow Arians will know how very hard that is

Yesterday we had yet another incident about clothes. D12 has a wardrobe full of them! She gave away all the hand-me-downs from her sister about a month ago and she still has a wardrobe full! However in her eyes she has no clothes (sound familiar to anyone?). She had sorted out all the clothes she no longer wanted and had put them on her bed so that I could see how dire her need was! I surprised her by telling her to write a list of the most urgent need and I would take her shopping this weekend (the fact that we did the very same last week is neither here nor there at this point!) I carefully explained the miniscule difference between need and want The list was looooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg. It included clothes that she wants for her trip with school in July! I asked why she needed two bikinis in April (and believe me it is a very cold April). Typically, for a teenager, she said if we didn't buy them now all the best ones would be gone by the time she did actually need them. I have to say I can't knock her for trying. A few tears were shed, with D12 saying how she felt less confident in clothes she didn't like (that really tugged at the heart strings b/c I have that feeling myself on a regular basis. I was honest and told her this). She had a tantrum and after giving her a hug and telling her I loved her I let her get on with it and went off to work.

When I got back she was in a much better mood so I was pleased about that. At midnight last night she knocked on my bedroom door. I was reading so was awake. She came in and gave me a note and asked me to read it. I have typed it out below:

' Mum
I have come to realise just how badly I treat you when all you try to do is right by me. Lately I have come to a stage where I am always very moody, mainly because I am so confused about the way I feel. Sometimes I feel happy others sad for just no reason. I think this is because over the last few years all the stress from dad leaving has just built up but I seem to be taking that stress out on you and I am truely sorry for that and shall try to stop snapping. I love you
D12xxx'

As I'm sure all of you who are parents will realise my reaction was 'Wow!' followed of course by the tears! I went into her room and gave her the biggest hug I could and told her how much I loved her. As it was so late it wasn't appropriate to sit and talk about how she felt but obviously we will do that as soon as she is ready.

If you got this far thank you. It was long I know but important for me that I recognise for myself the changes my children are trying to make to help both themselves and an unhappy situation that much more bearable.