Well, I guess it's time for an update, even if there isn't much new news.
To begin with, I'm still not divorced (sigh). My court dates were the day after Christmas and New Years Eve. What a way to ring out 2007.
I won't bore you with the details, but I got reamed...good. There may have been a time when the courts were stacked against women, but not anymore. Now it's the other way around. Elliot Spitzer will get taken to the cleaners (and probably should) because he cheated on his wife. Logically you'd think that if a woman cheated on her husband, she'd get the same treatment. If you did, you'd be wrong.
Marriage is no longer a license to wed...it's a license to steal. So I've become an outspoken, unabashed proponent of iron-clad pre-nuptial agreements (and don't forget the "if she cheats, she gets zip" clause). It's a lousy way to have a marriage, but if you can't trust your spouse (and there are a million stories out there and another million in here that only prove the point) and you can't count on the courts to insure you are treated equitably, then you have little choice (unless you don't mind spending your retirement years flipping burgers to make ends meet because your ex cleaned out your 401k).
During the Regan/Gorbachev era and the nuclear disarmament talks, there was a phrase used by both, "Trust...but verify". Sage advice, indeed.
If you're in a marriage that's having trouble, be suspicious, but work hard to save it (the alternative is grim). If you're contemplating marriage, assume your spouse will leave you and/or cheat on you and protect yourself. If it turns out that never happens, all the better, but if it does at least you'll be prepared. George Will once said that the great thing about being a pessimist is that you're constantly either right or pleasantly surprised.
The good news is that I'm back working again. Though it's taking over my life, I don't really have anything else to occupy my time right now so it's probably just as well.
I hope the folks I know here are doing well. BT, IWMIW, StupidRomeo, AlamoGirl, jersting, and the rest (sorry if I forgot a couple)...I hope 2008 is better for all of us.
