Thank you. I'm sorry you are familiar w/ my situation. I really am. It sucks. Are you currently working on custody issues as well? Do you still want your W back or are you moving on? I'm curious to know your story as well.
My update... D and I went out to sushi last night then came home and basically were both out by 9. This morning as I was taking us to work and daycare, W sent a text asking "was D ok this morning?" I didn't reply, but I was a bit befuddled as to what she was looking for.
Anyway, I picked up D early from daycare to take her to my dr.'s appointment only to find out the appointment is for NEXT Friday. So, D and I got gas in the car (D washed all the windows w/ the squeegie - it was so cute and she was so proud of her work), then we stopped and bought some DVDs for her to watch when she is with me.
Next we stopped and saw puppies and I got a haircut, so D wanted one as well. I didn't dare let her get a "real" haircut, so she had about a 1/2 inch cut off and she was so pleased and asked "doesn't my hair look pretty?" We then went home and I fixed her dinner, did a light workout, then we went up to the high school baseball game.
D called W while we were at the game and talked w/ her for about a minute or so. About 45 minutes or so after D's call, I get this text from W:
Quote:
thank you. although you are obviously not intelligent enough to realize it, your continued, blatant coaching of D makes you look terrible to the court and helps me greatly. so thank you and keep up the terrible job.
She followed it up with a text saying "August 14..." That is the day she said she was unhappy and didn't know if she loved me anymore.
I didn't text back and I've resited the urge to defend myself, but I'm so hurt, scared, angry and confused. What is this? I'm not coaching my D. My D is telling me things about the OM. Did W go to the parenting evaluator and he discussed my concern about D not calling OM by his real name w/ her? Is this what she is calling my "coaching?" I don't know, but now I'm all defensive and racking my brain trying to figure out what I could have done wrong.
I don't know what to do here. I really don't. I'm tired of being harrassed by her and I'm tired of her mean spirited actions and words. I hate that I'm second guessing myself now about my words and behavior around D. Did she deny the affair w/ the OM and tell the parenting evaluator that D isn't calling him by an incorrect name? I'm at a loss here. This really brings me down. I don't know what the Hell is going on and W has me at my wit's end.
I'm not going to respond b/c I don't know what I can say or do that would make a difference. I guess I know that I haven't coached D about the OM or about anything else for that matter. If I guilty of trying to coach her on anything it is on the concept that she lives sometimes in her "house w/ mommy" and sometimes in her "house w/ daddy." I'm doing this so she'll always feel like she has a place, not to get her to choose me over her mother. I was told to make sure I do this in my parenting class, so I'm focusing on making sure D feels like she belongs and has ownership of somewhere.
Is this what I'm doing that is wrong or did W lie to the parenting evaluator about her affair? If it is the first, I'm not doing anything wrong, and if it is the latter, then I hope this guy can either see through her or do his homework to find out that OM does indeed live in the same complex as W.
I'm still not in a good place over this. Why did she have to give up? Why did she have to be so mean? Where did my W go? Why am I still trying to save us? She is so mean. Will she ever soften?
I really want to quit and fight back just as nastily as she's doing, but I can't. I want to, but I can't.
I'm down and need to got to sleep. I'm looking forward to hearing your feedback.
