Germ, as far as you, its all about justification. They basically convince themselves that they are doing the right things. And, please dont believe that bullshit about her never loving you from day one. They all say that to make themselves look good...a lot of it has to do with guilt.
My M went 5 years without a single problem...we were perfect for each other. Then when the problems start, all of a sudden, I too was blindsided...so what, this was a joke, or did someone pay you to marry me?
Chevelle, Did you ever figure out if it was a mental issue that things just fell apart or was it a process that you just didn't realize. In my case, I knew we were having issues, but I also just figured that we both respected the sacrament of marriage. Additionally, I thought our M was actually getting better. We were making more money, fighting less and I was doing nice things for her that I thought were making her happy. Whew, I was wrong.
Right now I am still frustrated. Part of me wishes I could tell the world (mainly her allies) about her homosexual and hetero infidelities. Yet she has created a legal wall that punishes me for even a myspace posting. I think that is unfair. I want my story told loud and proud. It is so painful to be lumped into the whole ex-husband category of life. I also hate how I've been painted evil by her. I did so much for her and I don't see how she can't see that? Why couldn't she at least have the decency to break up with me over the phone? No, intead it is through the lawyer. I know her secret. I know she at least explored lesbian relationships online and in person (no clue about how far physically). I would've done anything to not be in this position. While I take blame for mistakes and shortcomings (comparing her to other women b/c I was struggling with lust, drinking too much w/her and alone), I won't take blame for ending a marriage through violence and cheating. Urrrghh...
