It has been an interesting few days. I haven't had time to check in here because D2 has been sick. I had to take a few days off work to take care of her.
Yesterday, I was home with her. I needed to go online to see if a few checks had cleared my account. Things are a little tight right now. I still have my name on the account H is using as well, so it shows up when I log in. Well, the bank was showing that account as being overdrawn by nearly $1200!!! I kinda freaked for minute, then I called H to let him know. He has no idea how to get online and check it, so I knew he had no idea. He was pretty shocked to say the least. There were some miscalculations on his part (I call it stupidity), and he was pretty upset about it. You could tell it bothered him because money was something I always handled. He hasn't written a check in 6 years. I was concerned because he was supposed to make a child support payment today, and I was really counting on that money. I have bills I need to pay myself. When I mentioned the CS money, he got VERY snippy with me. He ended up hanging up on me. I kept my cool and didn't feed his anger at all. He ended up calling me back and telling me that he had borrowed some money to cover it. His words..."Don't worry about it! You'll get your money!!" I pointed out that this money was not for me, but was so that I could take care of our kids. He was pretty pi$$ed at me (for no reason), and I told him I had to go.
Then today, he called me at work. He was being really nice on the phone, and then he said "Look. I want to apologize for yelling at you yesterday on the phone." I played coy like I didn't know what he was talking about, and he said "You know about the money thing. It just bothers me because money is something we NEVER fought about, and I don't want to start now. I hadn't eaten all day, so my blood sugar was low. I was just in a really crappy mood." I accepted his apology. I told him that his finances were none of my business. I was just concerned because I knew he didn't realize anything was wrong. I told him that in the future I would mind my own business about it. He said "No, that's OK. I know you are just looking out for me. I don't mind." Then I let him go.
A few minutes later I was leaving my office because I HAD to drive to Texas (a little under an hour away), and I had 1 1/2 hours until an appointment in town. I was leaving to rush to an insurance office down the street to get some paperwork, then I had to rush back to the office and make copies before leaving for Texas. It was pretty hectic. As I was leaving the office for the ins. office, I passed H on the road headed to our office. He NEVER goes to the office. I just waved to him and continued to the ins. company. I got my paperwork and raced back to my office, and H was sitting in our parking lot. I waved again and ran inside. He followed me in. He was dropping off an invoice (something he NEVER does in the middle of the day) then he just stood there. He looked like he wanted to talk or something. I honestly didn't have time for it, so I asked him if he needed anything in the office. He said no, so I told him I really had to leave. He asked where I was going and I told him. He said "Oh man, you better hurry then." Then he left.
He came to the house this afternoon to drop off a CD of the kids and to see them before he went to our lake house. We talked a few minutes about some financial stuff. Basically his dad wants to put our house in his name and assume the notes (he's already paying the note for me) so that we don't lose the house. I told H that I really wasn't comfortable with that. He thought it was because of the community property issue (which it partly is), but mainly I told him that we had only been separated for less than a month, and I just wasn't ready to make any big decisions like that. I basically told him that this was OUR house. The house we had raised our kids in, and I didn't want to walk away from that. He said, "Then let's just not do it." Then I told him that it just seemed like such a permanent thing. He said, "Look, we haven't done anything right now that we can't back out of. Nothing is permanent." I told him that I would hate to see us do this with the house, and then 6 months later decide that we can work this out. I was VERY clear that I knew he was not thinking of that, but that it was not outside the realm of possibility. He agreed, and he reiterated that we shouldn't do it if we aren't comfortable with it and that we haven't done anything we can't undo. That made me feel SO much better. It makes it seem like the thought is in his mind, KWIM? Before he has not seemed like he even thought about it, but today was different. I don't think he is exactly on the road home yet, but there is a bug in his ear. He has always made a point to say that "right now" this is what he thinks he wants, but he hasn't filed, hasn't even met with a lawyer, and he hasn't rejected the idea of a reconciliation completely. He does say that he isn't seeing that right now, but that "right now" is always in his statements.
