What happened to communication? Why would you let something go on and on for days? You learned so much and you were focused on what you did and didn't want. Haven't we all said that we would ask for what we want? Maybe you should take the lead. Change the dance.
The next time this happens, tell her what you're feeling and ask for her to do the same. Time is precious and you're wasting it by letting hurt and resentment drag on.
You said that your wife mentioned that there is a difference in how you act and how you say you're sorry. Go to the source. Ask her to tell you how it makes her feel and you do the same.
