Sue,

Your H is sure up to a lot of crazy making! Glad you realize you can't win with him and are doing what you want to do. Have you thought about getting a separation agreement? It doesn't sound as if your H is going to be willing to take care of his responsibilities if you do separate. I'm bring it up because he isn't telling you of his future plans and I wouldn't be surprised if he makes this harder on you than it has to be.

I have a friend whose W moved temporarily to stay with family while he retired from the Army and moved to AL for a job. He was looking for a house and getting things settled. She stalled and as soon as she could declare residency in Wisconsin, she filed for D. He knew they had some things to work out when she moved to AL, but believed her when she said she'd give the M a chance. A friend tried to warn about his wife's plans, but he was in denial and didn't want to pursue a legal separation. It was hard for him to get a good lawyer to represent him so far away.. she quit her job and he was the sole breadwinner when they D'd even though she has a degree and had a very good job for 10 years. He was accused of deserting his family and his child support and alimony is more than his Army retirement check. Of course, his is the D from h*ll and an extreme, but there comes a time when protecting ourselves is very important.

Just a word of caution to not be blindsided unecessarily.

Hugggs.. you sound strong \:\) Hope you feel better very soon!

Sheila