Back on the Roller Coaster - OW still around

[micoms]

FA,

I never tried to look at MLC from the MLCer point of view. I don't know if W has hit this wall yet. She denies there was an A, but has said I deserve someone who will treat me nicer. Sounds like guilt speaking.

I've told people that MLC is something that they aren't in control of, sort of like a mental condition, how would they feel about me if I gave up on W because she became bipolar or something?

I understand the hurt and trying to put it behind and it pops up again. We'll never forget the pain or the actions that caused it, the trick is to forgive the actions that caused it and the pain will eventually lessen. I think I need to read DR again myself.

My kids are great, but I'm usually home alone with the dog, the only one who still lives at home is D19 and she stays most nights with her sister. W has not felt this loneliness yet, she's living with D24, there's always someone home, D24, D19, D's BF or GS.

If your H does move back you need to set boundaries, he has to become transparent and let you check on anything, e-mails, phone calls etc. You need reassurance that OW is out of the picture for good. I've read when the S commits to the M again and moves back in is when the hard work begins.

Mike