As someone who has dealt with my H's affair, the phone thing is a tricky situation.
I found a cell phone I never knew H had (he had one I knew about, called him on, etc, and then I found ANOTHER one, in our bed one night! must have been sleeping with it.....). Anyway I snuck the phone away, read all 300 texts in it (and that was just from a 4 week time period, about 10 msgs per day back/forth), and confronted H. Even hid the phone from him for 3 days. Obviously bad move. He painted me the evil spy wrecking his fun and violating "his" trust? Also OW texted me calling me a phone thief...
But a couple months later after "it" was supposedly over, I went online and saw the cell bill that nothing had changed. He called that night to chit chat, was out of town on business trip. I asked if he still talked to OW, he said no, I mentioned seeing the phone bill online, he then admitted everything, that they were back together, etc......he says he ended it the next day but you never know in these situations.
So you may get results bringing it up, you may not. She may just paint you as the snooping bad guy and confide in the other guy about how "controlling" you are?
