I think 180s are good... they are for YOU, not just to try and save a marriage. If you think going dark is having a negative effect then try something else. It's always okay to DB (as long as you keep in mind there's no guarentee it will work... it's just your best hope and often helps in healing).

But in the meantime, make sure you are legally protecting youself. Talk with your lawyer about things. Maybe you should consider having a parent or someone you can trust hold cash for you in case unexpected expenses come up....

Although I don't think you should be paranoid, it doesn't hurt to be careful. Document and have records of every cent you give her. Be careful not to give her too much extra money, she may use this as a basis for more alimony...

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.