Sue, honestly, you just need to take him at his word - do what you want, and then (the tricky part!) don't give it a moment's thought when he gets all pissy. Because, as you know, he's gonna get pissy no matter what - and that's HIS problem, not YOURS.
Rob- Thanks so much. What a nice Friday surprise to see you on my thread! I plan on doing what I want. I know if he gets angry later about paying that I'll just keep my mouth shut. He could get to angry. However, the fiesty part of me wants to tell him that his first priority should always be his child. That if he hadn't gone to CA twice this past fall/summer for his own pleasure, he wouldn't have gotten behind on the bill to begin with. That he completely wasted $283 on a framing his Springsteen poster & pictures. Just the side story to that. We saw Springsteen on his HUGE tour back in 2002-2003. H has been waiting to get all this stuff framed. They set it up beautifully. He put one picture in there of the group of us that went. The deposit ($283) was 1/2 of the cost to do it. Well, since he's decided that he no longer wants me in his life, he's decided he no longer wants the frame. Very petty, yes. So, $283 down the drain, a beautiful framed poster with actual ticket stubs and pictures of us & New York....never picked up! And, this framing place out the additonal $283 and with something no one else probably wants.
Originally Posted By: Rob1231
The more I hear of your H, Sue, the more I believe that it's all going to come crashing down on him someday soon. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. In detaching from that accident waiting to happen, you're doing the right things, for both yourself and for that sweet little girl of yours. ((BIG hugs!))
You know, since I've decided that there are certain things that I don't want to live with any more, I'm actually scared of H actually coming back and wanting his family. To some, especially new people, that may sound horrible. I guess I've gotten to the point where I'm ready to be done. My eyes are open to the cycle I've been living in for years. At this point, I don't see H wanting any of coming back to me. However, he's the type of person that would try to hold on to anything that would help him keep his head above water just long enough to find a new way out.
H even just called again. He got very, very angry with me. He asked what I was going to do.....get D4 or leave her. I said, leave her. He said.....Whatever.....All Right! He did it in a "You're making a mistake" tone. I asked him what he wanted. He said, I asked you a question and you answered it. So, I am screwed. I know now that H will hammer and accuse me of costing him money if I do not go get D4 this weekend. I also feel like I cannot be around this man this weekend. He is too angry. I called my mom and told her that I felt stuck. She offered to pay for next week if I wanted D4 to stay. I told her - absolutely not! I will not allow them to bail him out. I know my H will take full advantage of it. If they pay this time, he'll expect them to pay in the future.
I will call H and tell him I will be leaving work early and heading to my parents. Done!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I plan on doing what I want. I know if he gets angry later about paying that I'll just keep my mouth shut. He could get to angry. However, the fiesty part of me wants to tell him that his first priority should always be his child. That if he hadn't gone to CA twice this past fall/summer for his own pleasure, he wouldn't have gotten behind on the bill to begin with. That he completely wasted $283 on a framing his Springsteen poster & pictures. Just the side story to that. We saw Springsteen on his HUGE tour back in 2002-2003. H has been waiting to get all this stuff framed. They set it up beautifully. He put one picture in there of the group of us that went. The deposit ($283) was 1/2 of the cost to do it. Well, since he's decided that he no longer wants me in his life, he's decided he no longer wants the frame. Very petty, yes. So, $283 down the drain, a beautiful framed poster with actual ticket stubs and pictures of us & New York....never picked up! And, this framing place out the additonal $283 and with something no one else probably wants. 
