kiki- I keep telling you that your H sounds like my XH but it is so true. They are irrational...they do and say things just to get you angry...and the angrier you get, the more it justifies their ridiculous behavior. Even if you have proof, they believe they are telling the truth.
As part of your D/custody agreement, have you and your H had to have any psychological evaluations? Several years back, my XH took me back to court to get more visitation with our kids. He had the kids 2 evenings during the week and every other weekend. Because we went back to court, my XH, the kids and I had to go get psych evals. My eval came back normal...my XH's did not in the area of co-parenting (I can't recall exactly what it said). It all ended up being a waste of time and money in the end...it told me what I already knew and the court never even took it into consideration...they ended up making the kid's two mid-week visits with their dad overnights plus every other weekend...all this time with a man that has 4 other kids to take care of so he hardly gives my kids any attention. Why??? I believe my XH did it to hurt me and to prove to his rights. He claims he did it because I denied him visitation...which I never did...I just didn't cave in when he told me he wanted the kids for certain vacation days that he wasn't entitled to. He definitely had a memory of convenience.
Do your best not to let him draw you into the fight because things could just get worse. My advice is to validate him whenever you can and choose your battles carefully. Is it really worth the fight over what days your H takes your D as long as he spends the time with her? If it isn't, just let it go. I know I always wanted to prove I was right...but because I did that, I think it ended up hurting my kids.
I hope your H comes to his senses someday soon. My XH never really did process his guilt so he still blames me...but he ended up married to the OW.
