If I am reading your words correctly, it sounds like you neglected some of her emotional needs for many years, and then when she left she was telling you about some of those needs and then you tried to start meeting them.
I can tell you that its pretty common for a woman to get angry like this if her needs have been neglected for years and years and then suddenly, only because she is leaving, her man wants to try and meet those needs. This ticks her off because she feels like, why did it have to come to this before you would see my needs? And - is he even really being genuine, or is he just trying to lure me back home and then all will be the same?
Usually a woman stuffs down her anger for a long time, hoping the sitch will get better and waiting for that time to come. So most likely, she was really angry with you for many years for her needs going unmet, but she didn't let you know how angry she was (or you weren't listening) and she stuffed all that anger inside, trying to wait until it got better. But it never got better, you never noticed or met those needs, so she left.
She is still going to have to process all those years of unvented anger. She should be doing this in counseling and hopefully she will realize she needs some counseling.
As others are telling you, you can't be the one to educate you on what she should do for her end of things. She has to find her own way of getting through the anger. But she will eventually...if you can hold on that long, maybe you two will have a chance.
I hope you read my other response on your other thread, too.
