Why shouldn't Mitch ask Althea to make his new home more comfortable for her kids, to stock his freezer with the kids favorite dishes, to come over and dust for him? Being a good person does not entail ex-spouses doing favors for each other. Mitch doesn't owe Althea household favors, and vice versa.
I just don't see that changing lightbulbs is a parental duty. It is something well within Althea's reach, even if she has to buy a new ladder or ask a friend.
My guess is that the reason it seems reasonable to Althea (and perhaps to you and others) for Althea to ask Mitch to change lightbulbs in her house is because she is drawing on his position as her ex-husband, and what he "should" do as her ex-husband, what she secretly feels entitled to expect from him. Again, expecting anything from him in virtue of that role is not going to help Althea with anything other than creating multiple instances of frustration, disappointment, and bitterness. Like I said, these minor ties and demands based on someone being an ex-spouse aren't good for anyone.
Of course, you are free to disagree with me. My outlook here is based on my own experience. The more I accepted that my life was really entirely my responsibility and that I had no claim on XH to make it go more smoothly in any way, the better my life went.
Ask more from those who want to share your life and nothing from those who don't. It is a better life.
