On another note, I am wondering whether a 180 is too late at this stage. My standard MO is/was to withdraw into my "cave" when confronted by unpleasantries, especially with the stresses from family and work. I have continually worried that "going dark" has been seen by W as just "more of the same" from me.
Anyone think retaking up some DB approaches again might have better results this time? Or is it really too late, or just not the right time?
Well, I personally think that 180s are a good idea no matter what your goals are and it's never too late! My H is still out of the house and with OW but since I have been doing 180s H and I have a friendlier relationship and he has been spending more time here with our kids (don't know if that last one is related to my DBing, but who knows maybe has helped?).
I mean 180s are basically figuring out what doesn't work for you and your relationship and trying to do the opposite and see if that works is how I understand it anyway. I'm a logical type person and it doesn't make sense to do what isn't working anyway! Karen
Karen