Empowering the Conflict Coward

[Concerned_Listener]

PS, Jak, and Matilda,
Yesterday, she was complaining that I don't give her enough affirmation about her appearance, and didn't thank her enough for the Ipod she recently bought for me (I didn't want it, but she bought it anyway). It's confusing, because she's complaining about lack of my attention, following an overnight of sleeping elsewhere.

It's difficult to know how to interpret her sleeping elsewhere behavior. It it simply a respite? Is it a change of venue for her to help manage stress? I tend to interpret it as a sign of her dissatisfaction in the M, and that there is distance in the M, so am surprised when she wants to connect shortly after returning from her overnight.

She had decided that I need another Ipod (I have a shuffle) because I've been borrowing hers. She doesn't like to share items. She very much wants her own space. She did the same with a computer. She decided that I needed my own computer, because my old one kept having problems, and she didn't want me on hers. Fortunately, one can buy personal computers for around $500 dollars these days.

I retreated to my bedroom when she was on the phone complaining about me to her sister. When I heard her practicing her dance steps in the other room, I decided to venture out and join her. We ended-up practicing, so I was able to help end the evening on a positive note. This dancing has helped to keep the connection in our M, and it's helped me to develop myself in my own right.

I see my IC today; it's helpful to hear his opinions.

I'm reading Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill, by Matthieu Ricard.

She seems to want Saturday to be a free day for her, so she can rest before her cooking day. I'll plan on doing housework, and yardwork on my own, and leave her be. My parents were in town last weekend, and threw off her schedule, as she hurried to do some last minute cleaning. This contributed to her meldown on Sunday.

CL