One other question I'd like your input on, if you can give it.
I had been away from these boards for a few months, doing quite well on GAL. When W asked for the divorce, I was not surprised. Hurt, but not surprised and ready to move forward. I have been, overall, quite good at living in the moment and not the past or the future.
However, I'm wondering what my return to the boards means. I'm reading again, posting again here and trying to help others. I read one of your posts to breton39 and am wondering if the same situation applies to me. You advised breton39 to "trust your instincts." I wonder why I'm back here now. What does that mean??? I wonder if I am indeed ready for the D, still holding some (misguided?) hope for reconciliation, or perhaps, at minimum, not as far along in my grieving over the loss of the M as I had once thought I was. I've read all sorts of stories (perhaps too many!) about people ending in divorce, pulling back at the last minute, etc.
W still hasn't given me any sign of willing to work on reconciliation, nor is she moving forward, as far as I can tell, with the D.
Thanks for any light you can shed here. I'm surprised by this turn of events, but perhaps it's part of the ride we all go through when a long relationship, however imperfect, smashes up.
I am back. I hope you see this message. Please excuse my late response. I give you a lot of credit for your soul searching, GAL'n, reading, and research. In my opinion, you took the initiative to become a stronger person. You did not have a "Why bother?", or "It was all her fault" attitude.
You posed an important question. Like I said, "Trust your instincts". You said:
Quote:
We've been together more than 15 years.
You are separated - yet you think of her. You shared a life together. You chose her as your wife. Perhaps past abandonment issues have come into play.
Even if she asked for a separation, it does not mean she wants a D. Your W did not file; neither did you. IMHO, your wanting her is dependent on HER thoughts. Just take a look at this subject header. Instead, focus on YOU, and reasons you love her.
I believe a SBT can help sort this out. Stop analyzing!! DECIDE to love.
