Boy do I feel for you! That is why I know I shouldn't "push" my H, if he came back now I know it would be for the wrong reasons. It sucks b/c you have had him back, the Ds have had him back....grrr! Like I said, I feel for you...
I also agree w/Kalni. I don't think there would be some of the playfulness (spanking?!), and the dinner date, filling your gas tank, etc. if there weren't feelings there, too. Maybe he is PARTWAY back to you, but can't commit "all the way" yet. Maybe he thought he could live there while he found his way back. But you are right to want him to go if it is making you unhappy/upset.
There are feelings there. I agree with BBJ. But there is also a great deal of confusion and probably a lot of guilt. We men generally don't do well with guilt. We try to mask it with anger or distain or some other wonderful emotion.
Don't give up. Detach. Focus on you and your PMA. Take a deep breath and keep breathing.
Just to let you know, I have my regular appt. w/ my T today. I will be getting advice from her I'm sure. I did tell H if he "has any intentions of working on us u are welcome to stay. If not i think it is time to move on."
I'm sure he does have feelings still. I just don't know if I can wait any longer for him to open up to them. I am so trying not to be a "yo yo" Woog. I expected the rug to be pulled out all along. My greatest concern is for my Ds. They aren't expecting it.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
As I was driving to my T I realized I still didn't know anything WTF H is thinking or planning. I told her the same. She was glad that I stood up to H and thought all the things I said to him last night were good. They probably went in one ear and out the other. Who knows if he has processed any of it.
She said I need to decide what I want. Do I want to fight for my M and if so why? Do I want to be married to the person that H is? Right now I'm so tired. I don't feel like I can deal with him anymore. I just want to move on with my life. I am so tired of not knowing WTF is going on and what is going to happen next. I don't know if H can ever love me the way I deserve to be loved. Don't know if H will ever want to make me happy or if he will be able to make me happy.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
If our H's are twins then maybe we are too?? Ok I don't have red hair but that is just a salon trip away from being solved
I too am just plain TIRED. I am TIRED of "waiting" for H. I know we are all supposed to be moving forward with life and if our spouses want to catch up, they will.....but I know that emotionally I am still "waiting". There are decisions to make, things to plan that would be different depending on whether or not H and I stay married. I want to feel LOVE! I want to feel WANTED! I want to know that I make his day when I call and vice versa....
Not trying to hijack your thread at all, just saying I am so there on what you are saying. And like you, I honestly don't know if H is capable of giving me that kind of love anymore...
Just give me an accurate description of your hair length/color before i go to the salon!! 