Going to try one more time....

[peaceful_spirit]

So yes on paper this seems so simple but I for one know it is not.\It is extremely difficult.

No, it is not easy. But it can be done.

You are essentially working on changing your thought patterns... ones that you have formed through the years. Now you're forming new thought patterns. This will not happen over night, but it will happen.

Your first step is to understand what will make you happy -- all the things you said in your post. Letting go of the past, finding ways to love yourself, to be loved, etc...

Now you understand at a rational level what needs to be done. Now your emotions need to catch up. This part is harder. Practice, practice, practice. When you find yourself thinking your "old" way of thinking, STOP. This is hard, but do it. Tell yoruself to STOP. And remind yourself that the more you do this, the easier it will become.

It's like working out. When you first go to the gym, it's hard... you're huffing and puffing, your legs are sore, etc... But the more you go and work out, the less you will huff and puff and the less your legs will hurt. The same thing is happening with your brain and your emotions.

You are doing great. Just rememeber that this will not happen overnight -- and give yourself the time to make these positive changes in your life.