Well we can agree to disagree, correct? ;\)

Neecy's H and OW work for the same company, though now in different locations, but for business-related issues, there IS contact that must take place for business purposes.

What should she do then? Insist on her H quitting his job? Demand that he stop talking to OW because it pains her? The latter I can certainly understand, and I agree that it shouldn't be tolerated, but we are not in Neecy's shoes here. We are NOT in HER sitch, and she has stated that she feels pretty certain that no contact is continuing to take place between them. HOWEVER, she is also NOT blind to the fact that this could be unlikely.

The fact is they work together. Neither is going anywhere, at least not anytime soon. So again, as we've always agreed, it is Neecy's choice, and I believe she's somewhat ok with the type of contact that is currently taking place - business contact. From what she's been able to determine thus far, that is as far as it has gone.

Quote:
"Why would you want to focus on such a thought?" Because it's REALITY. And I would much rather deal in reality than in wishful thinking when planning my future and my life.

But that's just me.


Right.

Sooo.....Should Neecy go around everyday believing, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" or that "all cheaters lie"? Should she go through her days constantly thinking, "What is he doing right now?", "Is he talking to her?", "I just know he's doing SOMETHING wrong"..??

The point I'm trying to make is this: Sometimes one SHOULD REALLY TRY to give their S the benefit of the doubt, even if they don't particularly act like they deserve it. Personally, I do not see this as "wishful thinking". I see it as a way to STOP NEGATIVE THINKING which will drive anyone crazy.

What's the saying?.....Hope for the best but expect the worst.

Neecy CAN do what she wants, and no one should try to convince her to do otherwise. We can forewarn her so to speak, but we should also give her the positive support she would greatly appreciate. We ought to just BE THERE for her. Give advice when she asks for it and NOT get bothered if/when she's not doing it OUR way or as we suggested.

But that's just the way I choose to see it. ;\)

Last edited by GoingForward; 04/04/08 04:43 AM.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell