Sandi's Here in Piecing from Almost WAW

[sandi2]

Well, I haven't posted on my own thread in a while, so thought I better say something.......

I did have a talk to my H about some things that have been said on here. He knows, of course, that I am on the board a lot and in fact, I suspect he had done some reading of his own. Anyway, I did tell him of DomR's list of things he thought should work in our M. I wanted to know if it was just me or if I truly did know my H after all these years. So, I explained Dom's ideas about it and sure enough my H hated it. He said that was not the way he operated.

I knew it would not work in spite of DomR telling me over and over again that he could not understand why it would work for us b/c it worked for him! In spite of him saying that I was just using excuses and that I did not want to work on my M. Oh well......don't want to start up another round, but I just wanted anyone that may keep up with all this that I did discuss it with my H.

I have been able to attend Church services on Sunday mornings more the past couple of months. Still can't make it to night services or mid-week. My body starts shutting down around 3:00 and I have a hard time the rest of the evening. My H has been so good to either fix something for supper or get carry out. I have told him how much I appreciate him being so good to me and understanding how it is for me after I come home from work. However, I seem to be that way on the weekends also. But anyway, he is much more understanding about my physical limitations now than he used to be in the beginning. I think one reason is that he has read up more about it and is much more informed.

Last year when his birthday came, it was right after he approached me about the OM. I was in a terrible mess and was even thinking very seriously about leaving him. My mother knew I was messed up and she fixed his birthday supper at her house and had the family to meet there. We always make a big to do over birthdays in our family. However, I did not even as much as buy him a birthday card last year. It was probably obvious to everyone, but I didn't really care at the time.

So, this year I wanted to try to make up for last year by really fixing something nice for his birthday. Well, wouldn't you know that my Fibro got really bad and I had my feet in those "boots" you wear when you break a bone. I had both hands in braces and both knees in braces. But my daughter and DIL and mother all cooked supper and brought to our home. They did a good job and we all enjoyed it. But I had wanted to do it myself b/c of last year. Hopefully, I can the next time around.

We are facing some serious difficulty with our GS. I won't talk about it now, but would appreciate your prayers. The situation he is influenced in is pulling him away from our family and he is being manipulated by another person. The more we talk, the further away he gets from us......so I thought about the DB techniques and I just stopped talking to him about it. There is nothing I can do and I am praying that God will open his eyes to what is really facing him if he continues to go this path he has chosen.

The reason I even bring this up is b/c he is still living in the home with me and my H. So, of course, that has some affect on us, but we have not argued with each other about our GS.....just talked about the situation. We have been able to maintain stability and calmness with each other. I don't remember us getting into an argument or having harsh words toward each other since I decided to stay in my M and make it work. It was a strain for a while and I won't deny that! But now, we are able to laugh, we talk, we show physical affection and I think we have come a long way from where we were this time last year. I feel good about it and I really don't care if anyone thinks I am doing what I need to be doing or not. As long as we feel good about it, that is what matters to me. You have to get to that point before you can move any further.

Simple story is you have "excused" what you are doing is not working

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Okay, FG, that quote was from you. So my question is, what have I "excused" that what I am doing is not working? I don't get it. What do you expect me to do? You keep refering to the man in "the chair" and making him move. Then you talk about me being old and forgetting things and it sucks. I really appreciated that, by the way. But then, I thought maybe you were talking about yourself (lol). BTW, the "man in the chair" you keep refering to is old also. He doesn't care about moving too much these days. So, I guess you will have to explain more about what you mean. Talk to me as though I am a child and help me understand. Paint or draw me a picture of what you are saying. Why is it hard for people to accept the fact that we are doing okay? You said you did not want to be put in the same category as DomR, but you and he are the only ones that have talked to me about me using excuses and not doing anything, etc.

BTW, where is your thread? I tried to find it, but gave up b/c I was going in circles.