H 's mom and I got along realy well. We talked every day. She even supported me when H left and when I found out he was cheating on me.. Up until H said no more. I called once and since her husband was around, she said I had the wrong number and hung up. Ouch!
Oh Well, they will have to face that one day.
His dad is very controlling and when he says something , it is done.
His dad is very controlling and when he says something , it is done.
And if H says something it is done.
Ahh, I know the dynamic. I just thought it was odd b/c as Moms we tend to have more time with the kids and that can translate into who sees them and how much.
You need to check your dates more carefully. Some of those were made before my new schedule when I picked her up every Tuesday night regardless because I had her overnights every-other weekend. The others were on weeks that I did not have her overnight and was picking her up for the normal Tuesday night and Thursday night week visits. Good try though. Liz, you can play dumb all you want, but I know you remember telling me that Tuesday afternoon through Friday morning was too long. I don't care if you want to own up to it now, you said it and you know it. This was how YOU wanted it, not me. But keep plugging away, eventually you'll wear me down and I will say you're right. Or, on second thought, don't bother me with that anymore.
I know he thinks it's the truth. There has been a couple of times I've gone back into my journal (after a convo) to check on what I recorded there (just to make sure I wasn't losing it). Mostly, I let it go. In my case the stuff isn't important. I really don't care about being right so much (even though most of us do like that to some degree or other) as he says something and then if it comes up again he flat out denies it. I really only carded him on it once. I was kind of angry angry and pointing out he needs to own what he says.
I'm fortunate that I don't have to have any contact with him right now.
Kiki The part I dont get about these guys is why the rudeness They got what they want(they think) we let them go (with unconditional love) we made everything easier than it might have been without DBing and still they are rude, ungrateful and crazy where is the common courtest if only for the kids sake? peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
kiki- I keep telling you that your H sounds like my XH but it is so true. They are irrational...they do and say things just to get you angry...and the angrier you get, the more it justifies their ridiculous behavior. Even if you have proof, they believe they are telling the truth.
As part of your D/custody agreement, have you and your H had to have any psychological evaluations? Several years back, my XH took me back to court to get more visitation with our kids. He had the kids 2 evenings during the week and every other weekend. Because we went back to court, my XH, the kids and I had to go get psych evals. My eval came back normal...my XH's did not in the area of co-parenting (I can't recall exactly what it said). It all ended up being a waste of time and money in the end...it told me what I already knew and the court never even took it into consideration...they ended up making the kid's two mid-week visits with their dad overnights plus every other weekend...all this time with a man that has 4 other kids to take care of so he hardly gives my kids any attention. Why??? I believe my XH did it to hurt me and to prove to his rights. He claims he did it because I denied him visitation...which I never did...I just didn't cave in when he told me he wanted the kids for certain vacation days that he wasn't entitled to. He definitely had a memory of convenience.
Do your best not to let him draw you into the fight because things could just get worse. My advice is to validate him whenever you can and choose your battles carefully. Is it really worth the fight over what days your H takes your D as long as he spends the time with her? If it isn't, just let it go. I know I always wanted to prove I was right...but because I did that, I think it ended up hurting my kids.
I hope your H comes to his senses someday soon. My XH never really did process his guilt so he still blames me...but he ended up married to the OW.
