"The Waiting is the Hardest Part" Tom Petty

[forward]

Sleeper, I got the double bind, too.

If I was nice, H would be nicer. But when he started to seem comfortable he'd refuse any favors I offered. You know, didn't want little Breton to get her poor, sad hopes up. I felt like a puppy dog to which he could give a little attention biscuit and I am just tired of that.

If I do say so myself, I look good, there's always the 8.6 million, and I deserve better.

After discussion w/DB C, I decided dim is the way to go. I think it is healthier for me. I think it is definitely stopping the chase. If it doesn't work, I can say I really did try everything to the best of my ability.

I remembered way, way back when H and I started dating. He dumped me early on. Wanted to come back to see me. I said no. I liked him but wasn't in love with him yet and frankly had other options. I was going out of town. H pleaded to come back. I said OK, but you have to come on a day that fits my very busy schedule. Showed up w/flowers and I took him back and we were together from that point.

So a-dim I will go.

And if H shows no interest, well, I am at peace with that. D2 and I will be OK.