WAW- No longer a Newbie

[kiwi000]

A Positive Update;

WAW's relationship with OM is over. She comes to me last week and says that she's "been so stupid", she's "screwed everything up" and that she is "sorry it has taken her so long to get here". It's the first apology I've had.

I did not react with excitement. I reaffirmed that she was and is the one for me and that I had always wanted our marriage to work. She started sobbing and said 'I [she] doesn't deserve that'. I just said that noone was judging her.

She then said that she is sorry we didn't both work on our marriange when we were in it.

She told me that she had a brief relationship with OM and that it brought up things she had not dealt with. I thought brief was a euphamism given we are closing in one one year apart and they were still together at Easter.

I was friendly but not over-effusive. I had prayed and hoped for this moment for a long time but when it came it was a little underwhelming. I could just see all the barriers to reconciliation. Strange to say the least. Anyway, I didn't act on the perceived barriers and remained relaively open. I got a text message later saying thanks for listening.

Our S was sick and went to hospital yesterday for some tests and WAW turned up and was friendly and helpful. Since then we'cve had a more open and regular dialouge. She's also told some friends 'she'll never divorce me' which is a major shift from the agressive legal tactics used early in the separation.
WAW acknowledged that she had depression, another first.

Lastly, some of the old criticisms and attacks are still out there and friends and family warn me to be careful.

All in all it was a good DBing moment. Having read C_K's thread though, I know we've got a loooong way to go.