I don't think I've said it more than once but could have....bad habit of mine. However, I had not given it that much thought until I read this stitich that if the LBS just keeps nagging and asking questions without any let up.....you know the WAS has to bring all those memories up again. Why would the LBS want him/her to do that? It is hurting the MR!
Knowing myself like I do, I am sure I would have some problems with the whole idea if I were the LBS and my H had had an A. But, to continue to do so on a regular basis is crazy and you might as well be asking your S to walk away--if you don't get a grip. I remember one lady saying how she had imagined her H and the OW having this wonderful sexy love affair and come to find out it wasn't near what she had imagined in her mind. The reality of it was rather pitiful. So, we are probably our worst ememies thinking about how sex was with our S and the OP. If we could just realize that the LBS is the one that was chosen over the OP. That should tell them something!
I remember when I mentioned that I was having a hard time letting go of the OM, even though I was not contacting him any longer. a poster pointed out to me that it was b/c I was still fantisizing about him. So, to me, it would be the same thing to have to think about the details of your intimate R in order to relay it to your S.
The sooner the WAS can forget the OP and focus on what they have at present with their S.....the sooner the OP will be forgotten and they can move on in a healthier M.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
