I really appreciate your insight especially since you are a fellow educator like me. I know I've got no choice but to push forward. It is very difficult, but you are exactly correct, I CAN'T ALLOW MYSELF TO BECOME DEPRESSED. If I do that, I'm letting my D down as well as myself.
I think what I get stuck on is how everything I read says to not give up, but I really don't know how my W will ever be able to undo all the negative stories she's planted about me to her friends and familiy. I am going to remain hopeful, but not overly optimistic. I'm also going to keep developing me and leave open the possibility of reconciliation, but I won't just sit around w/ the light on or wait anxiously by the phone for her to return.
I can't do that. That would kill me and destroy my effectiveness to be the best father I can for my D. I have to continue, despite it being very diffcult, to be the man and be the rock my W will hopefully look for someday.
It is a faint hope, but it is what I've got to keep out there.
I'm glad to know things are going to get better b/c I don't know how much lower I could go right now.
