Feeling hope

[LuvMyHusband]

Hi all,
Ok, we had our first disagreement since H has been back home. I have told him that it bothers me when he is on the pc after I go to bed bc of things that have happened. Last night I went to bed around 9:40. He was on the pc. We have been in bed early for the last couple of days so this wasn't anything unusual. I didn't say anything to him about the pc as I have told him before. I wasn't angry but I do still worry. He came to bed about 20 minutes later. Ok, he cuddled me, I responded with holding his hand. This morning he brings up that "I was angry with him and that he felt he had to come to bed". Now, I did not act angry or even say anything. I think its his own conscience bc he knows how I feel.

We tried to talk about it over the phone to no avail. So as I am turning on the road to our street (after work) I see him driving away. I turned around and honked at him so he pulled over. I was sick to my stomach. Its only been a little over a week since I came home and he was gone with no warning so it stands to reason that I'm going to feel anxiety when I see him drive away when he is upset and he hasn't told me that he was going any where. Needless to say, he drove away angry, says I'm trying to make a "rule" that he has to go to bed when I do and that just is not true. He doesn't even seem to think that I have reason to feel anxiety when he is on the pc or that he was going to the store without telling me knowing that I would be home soon. He had to have known that I would worry since that's what happened last time. His response...why didn't you just call me? Mine...we were just on the phone, could you not have told me you were going to the store so I wouldn't be worried when I arrived home and you were gone?

Its only been a week. I know and appreciate that he is doing alot to be transparent and to make things right. That does not mean that my feelings of hurt, mistrust and abandonment just disappear. I have told him "look, if one of us has a problem with something, it's a problem for both of us". Anyway, I could use advice. He seems to get so angry. Says he doesn't want to feel trapped or mistrusted. Good grief.