[girlfromipanema]

Hi girlfromip,
Your comment about some of the goal-setting being more like hope-setting is brilliant. I agree. How can you set a goal that is dependent on someone else's doing something you have no control over? I thought DB was about controlling what you can and not what you can't.

For me a realistic goal would be something like "I want to listen to H talk about his plans for separating without crying and shouting and telling him he's crazy."

The unrealistic version of this is: "I want H to stop talking about separating."
Of course that's what I WANT, but how can I control what comes out of his mouth or what his thoughts are?

I'm so glad I'm not the only one thinking that way! To be honest, the whole concept of DB goal setting is causing me to doubt the entire technique a tiny bit... but I shall persevere.

Thanks for stopping by, lovemyguy.