Trying to be patient

[Yoyowife]

It is just making me mad that I am no longer depressed, lost the 40 pounds I needed to lose, clean the house well now, am happy and doing great that H refuses to even consider marriage to me even though everything he said he couldn't live with I have changed!!! He has told me you made the changes I wanted too late. I guess forgiveness & understanding aren't something he can do! Karen

My H said basically the same thing but he is also an arrogant a$$. He says I didn't appreciate him when I "had him". They have to make us look bad so they can justify in their minds that they did the right thing. They don't take in consideration that most couples do go through a stage of miscommumication at this stage in the marriages. Unfortunately, couples don't realize that they are not making the marriage a main priority. We all get caught up in raising our children and jobs. Once we get "slapped" in the face we LBS try to work on our marriages. They think that they have been "wronged" so badly, that it is too late to save the marriage, the fog is too thick! They don't stop to think that marriage is a two way street, and that they contributed to the miscommunications.

My H waivers back and forth about wanting to try to work things out. It doesn't help that the OW and his mother have become bosom buddies!

You are right that you have to work on yourself for yourself! You are doing very well.