Wife just seems to want to hurt me at the moment which I don't get. Is this a normal thing ? Is this that although W says they don't love you anymore, they do (even if 0.000001%) and are fighting themselves a bit to avoid getting sucked back in for fear of it returning to how it was ?
There may be cases where the spouse is on the fence about divorcing, but by the time they have actually brought up the subject or retained a lawyer, they aren't fighting down feelings of love...I suspect there aren't any...and getting the ball rolling on the divorce process probably is almost a relief...like "yeah, I'm finally getting freedom from this." I think this board tries too hard to get into the head of the WAS, and usually puts the most positive spin on it. If you could clearly see into your wife's head and knew everything she was thinking...would it help you any? You can't control any of that...only what you do and how you act/react.
I think you should get a lawyer. Figure out your rights. It doesn't kill your chances to be proactive. It doesn't kill your chances to not be a pushover. Make sure you look out for yourself and your children. If you're able to talk reasonably with your wife, without raised voices, anger, threats, or crying, then offer to sit down and discuss this stuff as responsible adults. Be strong.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
