hugs to all)))))) God has been true and wonderful to me, taking the pain from me, now I have to train this stubborn brain of mine to think of other things, lol, it's mostly habit that I think of D/H/ow, not out of pain, so I need to carve new brain paths for me.
Doing great, I know the enemy tries to pry old stuff and I pray to God to help me forgive 4nowH for all the indignities of the last 3mths, slowly i'm getting there. It doesnt' move me anymore to see him, and I am also detaching from my phone, he's the one who'd mainly txt me or call me, so now I even forget it at work, lol, it has helped. We are in the final stages of the mediation, we'll fine tune stuff on sunday between me and him and then off the mediator for the final draft.
It was sad telling my mom though, it sort of relived the worst for a few seconds, she of course was devastated (she is in my country and I just didn't have the heart to call her and tell her) I was close to tears, mostly for her, after telling my story a few times I'm able to stay objective, but I know it is really hard for her, since her and my dad D when I was 10 (ugly D, we moved, etc) and she has always suffered and hated to be alone. I tried telling her I didnt' feel alone, that I was doing great and kids were ok. Sigh, poor mami, she must've cried a lot more after we hunged up.
The kids are doing good, I know the little one is not as affected as s9, though he also is doing great, happy and himself, we went to the circus yesterday and had a blast. I lost 5lbs in the last mth, wow, I didnt' think it'd be possible to be my college weight again, so now I got to buy clothes 2 sizes smaller, he he.
Loving my zumba classes, got to be on the stage today, trying to keep up with that dynamo of our teacher, it's my highlight of the week. Found a radio online (through iTunes and i'm just hooked on it at work!, new tunes, new things help me take my mind off stuff, it's a latin dance party mix and I have to keep myself from dancing on my seat, lol.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
