Confused as Ever

[Snow White]

I didn't do it last night. I didn't chicken out it was a conscious decision.

I came home from work to D4 showing me the birthday card she made for daddy, his birthday is on Saturday.

H came home and I gave him the Telus bill open. I expected 2 things.
1. to see a ton of calls to OW,
2. to have it be significantly larger than my bill because I assumed that the reason H was texting me so much was so I couldn't tell when he was texting ow (previously when I didn't text I could see oh there were 50 text messages this month(now I also realize this is a small number).

What did happen was the bill showed some calls to OW's cell prior to our last months discussion where I called the lawyer because he said he would not stop calling her. The last call to her cell was on the day that I went to her store last month immediately following me leaving her store. There are some calls during work hours to the store she works at they are all very brief.

He had less than 100 more texts than me, mine were in the 600's (all responses to him) his were in the 700's. Keeping in mind I did not respond everytime he texted me and his best friend bob got a phone with a keyboard and they had texted back and forth.

I told him last night you confuse me, why would you take this stand about calling her and there is not a single call to her cell phone, his response - why would there be?


So, I had to think what my motivation for telling his parents was. I know why people who have decided on exposure decided on it. I am not sure my reasons are/would be the same. Would I be exposing to stop the affair? this would have made sense in early January. Really I am not sure there is one anymore, not just based on the bill but the bill confirms what I have been feeling for weeks(what I was afraid to feel because I thought I would see the bill and be proven wrong) that things have started to change. You can see it in my posts following the weekend my H met me for drinks.

My reason for telling his parents was to try to force his hand, to make him say that I am important, more important than calling this person. When he wouldn't commit to that then I started to feel like he must be in love with this person if he can let us separate over this one point. But really I am beginning to think this is more a battle for control, H does not want me telling him what to do.(who does?)

I am not saying this is a dead issue, but time is on my side. I will drop it and explain why. and we will see where the next few weeks take us.