Once my husband dropped the bomb. friend who is an excellent lawyer, told me I should know my legal rights and gave me names of lawyers he highly regarded. In the U.S., most initial consultations are free. I talked to three lawyers (two who my friend recommended, another someone else had) and discovered several things.
All the lawyers know each other. They have to work with, against and every which way with one another.
Most lawyers don't want to go to trial, so they work on a collaborative divorce, where they negotiate rather than ring up big bucks going to court.
Divorce in the legal system is a financial transaction. It's all business.
It helped to know what I could expect. Like any job that's done well, a professional, in this case the lawyer, can hear the basic facts and predict on a ballpark basis what the most likely outcome is if the couple doesn't go screwy. You will get your best and worst case scenarios.
When I went to see a lawyer, I felt so downtrodden. I didn't want the divorce, I didn't want to be there, I didn't expect any of this to happen in my life. When I left, I had a clue which went a long way. Education and awareness helps immensely, whether it's here, finding support of others, in a legal consultation, knowing what to expect.. etc.
It's not bad to educate yourself on something you never imagined.
