Beauty is still holding on ths site and kids..

[BEAUTYandWAH]

Joie! How are you?? I hope everything is good for you!
His intension... I have been thinking about it these days. I HAVE NO IDEA! We have not talked about D for a while nor M. You are right about waiting but I don't know what I am waiting for... I feel like I am not done with DBing but he has alot to work on himself... I cannot ignore a few baby steps but I also cannot ignore that he is still being a**.

What he is doing wrong... still messing around with some females, constantly 'text'ing someone even when I am sitting right next to him, he does not tell me any intension regarding 'me'. he does not have money, he does not spend enough time with kids (when he does, I am often times included in time together)

What he is doing positive (baby steps)... he show caring (he asks how I am doing, complement how I look), he cooked dinner for me and kids at his place tonight, he has a plan to go to a training at new factory job next week (finally!), he has not asking "can you do me a favor?" about a week, he actually canceled to go to a soccer meeting so he can cook dinner and I can go to work,..

Tell you the truth, I am not completely ignoring other people around me. I am exchanging e-mail with one person. Very innocent conversation such as everyday things, movie... and just a few sentences each mail.

I sent H a text tonight.. 'I am attracted to you and love you but will not ignore other people. I may hung out with someone. If so, 'I' may or maynot be the same.. I don't know right now. I am wondering if 'us' or 'you' will be the same. You don't have to say anything and I am not asking you give me answer. Just for you to think'

After that, we exchanged several texts.. here is the summary of his text,,,,"I have no right to stop you from meeting other people. I care about you and I feel upset in my stomach. But I guess this is the result of what I asked for. "

The outcome is something I expected. He has no intension about M/R/D. He does not know what to do 'I don't want to let you go but I don't know if I want you' But now, he has something to think about.

Girl!
you are very sweet person.. Thank you for asking about me. Yes, you are right. All my family and friends are back home. My only family here are kids, H and his family. I have not told my family about the situation and don't think I will have any support from them because they are anti-divorce/single parent. I had very hard time convince my family that H would be a good husband and getting approval from many people (not like I needed approval but wanted a blessing) Now, H is loved and accepted by my family/extended family so it is hard for me to tell them "umm.. by the way, he left me..."


I will come back for update soon.. my feeling is all over the place (as usual).
Beauty