I think the talks about the future might be best to sit on the back burner for now. It seems H is getting closer and closer, don't want to send him back two steps with R talk. Maybe say one night do you want to come back home? Or "home" might be a new house, free of the old (bad) memories. If he says yes, shelf it for another time, just say we need to draw up a plan but not tonight and let H think about it.
I guess the difference in our siches is my W wants the D fast. Met with her tonight to look for a Realtor to sell the house, she's going to call two and I'll call two. I was very upbeat had W laughing as was I. She does seem to be more "awake". She was very friendly tonight, a big improvement over 4 or 5 months ago. Getting rid of this house might be a step in restoring our R. I've been thinking the last few weeks about how W has treated me the last year and I don't know if I want that person for the rest of my life. She was so cold and mean, Only visited me after surgery 3 times in the months i was healing and quite an invalid. Even had me served D papers after I was home from the hospital two weeks.
Maybe W hearing or seeing I'm dating will awaken her. I won't be using someone to make W jealous, I will be looking for a R, if W wants to revisit our R after I start dating, it will have to be at the conclusion, if there is one, of the R with whom I'm dating at the time.
I do see some signs she might be poking her head into acceptance, she has had more contact with our sons the last 6 weeks than she has had in the last year. She has visited S27 at his house three tines in that period, the last time she was at his house he told me was 9/06. She has called S26 four times , I even took her to the house he is sharing with his friend, and she went back by herself. One thing she had asked me about a couple of weeks ago was "Did the boys hate her for wanting the D, because they don't call her at all". I told her that I told you twice they have given up on you, this is the third time I've told you this, they've called you 9 or 10 times and you have never returned their calls. sShe said something about her caller ID not working, that might have worked on her old phone, but she has a new one now. Besides that has nothing to do with you calling them every once in a while.
GS says he wants to spend the night at Papaws again, I love it!! He said it in front of W too. D wants me to watch him on the 27th. She has to work, her BF ahas to go to rehab classes fro the weekend, he got a dui that was reduced to reckless operation, but has to do the weekend in therapy visit.
Mike
M 51 W 49 S26 S25 D24 D19 Married 27 yrs T over 30 S 7/12 D-bomb 9/26
