Nothing new today. Talked with H this morning very briefly and that's been it. I work tom. night but H said he was coming over to spend time with S1. I think he is also coming on sat. and not sure about sunday. H has not seen S1 since last sunday.
I'm feeling better about things..pretty sure H has been fighting with OW alot but I'm trying to not get my hopes up. That's my biggest fear is that I am reading more into all of this because I want him to dump her skanky butt so badly! Although his attitude has been changing and he has been coming around more on the weekends so i'm holding onto that. MIL has also commented on changes in H she said "he's acting more like his old self". H went to his parents house twice last weekend, even stayed to eat dinnter with them. Has not done that since this whole mess started.
HM, Sounds like positive baby steps! Just keep on with the positive mojo around him. Don't stop now!
Very sorry to hear about your co-worker. Makes you stop and give thanks for everything you have ... even during these tough times when it's hard to remember that it could be worse, it really could.
You are absolutely right!! My co-worker was only 46, diagnosed with CA in December. Has two young girls well 16 and 19. I cant imagine what they are going through. They also have a very long and lonely road ahead for awhile ....it's just so sad. Has mad me so thankful for the things I do have. I have been able to step back a little and look at the big picture this week and I no I will be alright. I have alot to be thankful and I still have a lot of good people in my life.
H came over today...late as always and then left early to hang out with "the guys" WHATEVER that gets so old. He only see's his son on the weekends and i'm so tired of being the only one responsible.
H told me today that the affair is pretty much over with, and now he is working on getting himself better. Not sure what to believe. I have seen some changes but he is still being extremly selfish and distant. I hope he really does just need some time for him. I'm sort of worried that he has a good thing going right now and will never move back home. [censored] he comes over when he wants, leaves when he wants pretty much does exactly what H wants!!!! I dont know what to do to change that?????
OW has still been calling (since I checked his voice mail) but I have NO idea how much they are talking or if they still see each other. I'm not sure what he means by "it's pretty much over" Over as in NC or just physically over. As always I guess time will tell
H came over today...late as always and then left early to hang out with "the guys" WHATEVER that gets so old. He only see's his son on the weekends and i'm so tired of being the only one responsible.
I sooo understand it. I really do. But try to remember, WE are the lucky ones, getting all this time with our kids. They are choosing to be selfish, we are choosing to be responsible.
H came over to seen S1 yesterday again only a couple of hours. As soon as S1 went to bed he was out of here. It's like he is afraid to be around me. We talked a little bit about that. He just said he is breaking things off with OW it's really hard for him right now but he is getting it done. Said he is lucky to have a second chance and he is afraid of messing up again. Ok but if you never come around or call there is nothing to mess up. I dont know...just really sick of all this. I want more than he wants to give me, i'm really tired of pretending and it's so hard to keep my mouth shut all the time. I would like some more help from him with our son and some more responsiblity but all he does is "hang out with the guys". I know I should be happy he is making small steps but now they just seem to be too small. I dont know what to do....
I want more than he wants to give me, i'm really tired of pretending and it's so hard to keep my mouth shut all the time. I would like some more help from him with our son and some more responsiblity but all he does is "hang out with the guys". I know I should be happy he is making small steps but now they just seem to be too small. I dont know what to do....
I think what has helped for me is that I lowered my expectations about H. I don't really expect much from him so when he does come through it is just a pleasant surprise for me.
My H was acting a lot like your husband last year spending his free time with friends & OW and I think that really hurt my D8 esp. But since H realized the kids weren't that upset or caring that much when he moved out, he has been making a great effort to spend time with them, much more than when he was living with us. Maybe your H has to just come to that kind of realization as well before he will start acting in a better way? Karen
I don't why you can't ask him for more help. Remember those baby steps. Start out small, and ask for one more morning/afternoon/evening, whatever, then work up from there.
Do you know what he is doing to break it off with OW?
I know you're frustrated with how long this is taking. Unfortunately, it is a long, slow, process. He/She who has the most patience, wins!
Patience is something i am learning alot of right now and something I have NEVER been good at. H didnt call yesterday, again said he has a really bad day. Must be he is fighting with OW. Called me at work first thing this am just to say hi....that was a HUGE shock to me. He hardly ever calls at work, especially if he didnt want a thing. So that was nice. We are going out on saturday evening I think to a hockey game (if I dont get ditched). So I am looking forward to that. Hope it will just be fun to be around each other. Other than that really havent talked to him since tuesday when he stopped for about an hour. Told me today he misses us both alot and is starting to realize how much he is missing out on with S18months. It's about time!!
