Dear RC, I think I can try to understand where you are coming from even though I never got to a PA. I was very lucky that when I told my H that I did not want to talk about my OM at all....he said that he never had to bring his name up again. That was a blessing! I would go crazy and probably walk out on a stitch like yours. Your H needs to know that he is keeping the OM alive in your mind! Doesn't he get that? No, b/c he is a man and all he can think about is that another man had sex with his wife and he wants to be the champion of the LM! If he had an A, it seems to me he could understand a little more than what he is doing.
Have you tried telling him that everytime he asks you a sex question with your OM that you have to stop and relive that moment in your mind so you can give him the correct answer. You don't feel that that is a healing factor in your MR to constantly be reliving your sex acts with the OM and that you have prefer to consentrate on your H's sex with you rather than try to remember every detail of the sex with OM. Maybe that would get him to thinking about what he is doing. If it doesn't, just come out and say, "Do you want me to constantlty be thinking about all the times I had sex with OM, b/c you are causing me to do that with your presistant questioning"!
I know Michelle says to answer their questions about the A, but I believe there is a line to be drawn at some point b/c he is obsessing over it to the point it is killing your R. He needs to get with the program or he will lose you again. Just my 2 cents worth.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
