NikB #26 (tentatively moving to Piecing, again)

[SDFoundGirl]

Well, we don't do drinks over here sweetie, but since you offered, I think I'll take a double shot of Rumplemintz. Been a tough day with a meathead student and his equally meathead moms.

Okay. Here's what I have to tell you: it's time to suck it up and just have the conversation. In your mind you are playing out stories about how it *might* go, and every time you play it out is torture. I say, face reality and just do it, like pulling off a bandaid.

This will be a gradual thing...or at least it was for me. You can't go from walking on eggshells to full on boundary setting like I did. However, you have to start somewhere. No marriage is worth anything when you don't talk about things...even the stuff that makes you feel ewwy inside.

So, what's the worst that can happen? You've already lived it in your mind...just talk to the boy about this. Get calm, get clear, and ask in a non-accusatory way. Go down that path...get some clarity...and, most importantly, DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME.

He'll either blow up or he won't. He'll tell you he has hot monkey sex with the skank or not. He's still attached or not. He's working on the marriage or not. It's information to help you decide what you are going to do for YOU. Treat it like that...detach. Ultimately, he has the right to choose for himself, and it really has little to do with you.

Do it...and then watch how EMPOWERING it is to you, even if the answer makes you squirm. You'll be okay in the end.

SD