I hope you are feeling well. I have to be careful for she is reading all of this now and has been for a while. She lied about that also. I can not imagine what it would be like to live such lies everyday. Well I have desided that i am going to go ahead and have a great life, one that she will most likly miss out on. I have three great kids whom i love so much my heart is in pain for them. It must be really hard to lose your love for someone after all we have been through together but I want nothing but happiness for her and even if it kills me I want her to live the rest of her life happy. It took me a long time to detach and accept but my future is going to be very bright. I have many great friends that love me dearly and have told me so lately. I don't think I have been this close to my family (Mom, Sis and Bro) in years, I never knew how much they cared about me and how worried they have been for me for the last twenty years. I have been so abused that I didn't think anyone gave a cr*p about me. I was sleep walking through life. Now I am alive. In the last 6 months I have lost so much but gained even more. I have really grown in so many ways, I am really a whole new person that I really like.
I pray for the health of my wife and children through this difficult time everyday. I will love again and I will be loved again. Time takes time.
