[newnamenewlife]

Hi girlfromip,
Your comment about some of the goal-setting being more like hope-setting is brilliant. I agree. How can you set a goal that is dependent on someone else's doing something you have no control over? I thought DB was about controlling what you can and not what you can't.

For me a realistic goal would be something like "I want to listen to H talk about his plans for separating without crying and shouting and telling him he's crazy."

The unrealistic version of this is: "I want H to stop talking about separating."
Of course that's what I WANT, but how can I control what comes out of his mouth or what his thoughts are?