Well, I'm still feeling better. Letting God take care of W.
I found myself in between W and D12 today. W can be very insensitive to D12 sometimes when it comes to homework. D12 was upset and melting down and I found myself having to help her. Eventually W went away and all was good.
But that wasn't the weirdness of the day...
W had a meltdown earlier. I saw she had been crying and I thought it was about money. I told her a lot of the good things that were happening in my business and she said it wasn't money, it was just her life that was sucking.
I left her to herself and told her if she needed me I'd be in my office.
Several hours later she came to ask me something, but really she just seemed to want to talk to someone, and she was all smiles and just lingering in the room. I did my best to dismiss her but she wouldn't leave easily. It was really difficult to push her away but eventually she left the room.
It was REALLY weird and uncomfortable. She was making eye contact and everything. It got me scared because it felt like she was trying to draw me in because she feels me letting go.
I saw my counselor today and she asked me a weird question. She said "Is she leaving you, or are you letting her go?"
And the second she feels you're wrapped right back around her little finger, she will go back to the same old crap. She isn't entirely aware she's doing this but she's reacting to the loss of her security blanket.
No problem Amy, I did 'fantasize' about reconciliation a little. But reality is still here. Other than waking me up early this morning to take D12 to school because W had to go to a 'networking' thing, she hasn't talked to me at all when she's been home.
She has her friends she can call. I'm sure that's enough for her and they'll build her up again.
So, it's 'business as usual'. Too bad, it started to feel good last night. At least I'm not a sucker.
Saw her a while ago. She's still being 'nice'. I'm expecting the pendulum to swing the other way. However, I'm not putting much energy into it. One thing my counselor said yesterday was to be sure to keep putting any energy into things that benefit me.
Not into thinking about W. So I don't.
I also upped my Lexapro to 20mg yesterday. I think it helps.
Frank, did your doc tell you to up the Lexapro? If not, be careful with that choice.
As far as the wife is concerned, enjoy the niceness when it occurs, just dont expect it. Consider it simply icing for you, you dont need it, but it is nice when it occurs.
Frank, did your doc tell you to up the Lexapro? If not, be careful with that choice.
Yes, with the caveat of backing off it I feel weird at all.
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As far as the wife is concerned, enjoy the niceness when it occurs, just dont expect it. Consider it simply icing for you, you dont need it, but it is nice when it occurs.
Yeah, I almost got hopeful but I remembered that whatever she's doing, is to serve HER needs, not mine.
My counselor and I talked about that yesterday, about our ideas of what is important. To me, it's always been 'W, kids, me'. To W it has always been 'W, kids, me'.
Now for me, it's got to be 'Kids, me, business'.
I'm ok, really I am. Financially things look bleak, but I know I will be ok. And I'm more productive now.
I almost got hopeful but I remembered that whatever she's doing, is to serve HER needs, not mine.
Exactly Frank, she is not thinking of your needs right now. Keep that clearly in your head. Her niceness is an action that she wishes to lead to a desired result.
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Financially things look bleak, but I know I will be ok.
I can relate to this, I have always been financially secure until all of this happened and now am in the middle of a bankruptcy. Reality is though, it's just money and a fresh start never killed anyone. Your mental well being is more important than any monetary level.
Keep taking care of yourself Frank, by the way, I spoke with CM/Tiara Boy the other day and him and I talked about that article you sent us. Do you remember it?
