Help me act AS IF, Thread 4

[newnamenewlife]

What exactly does he expect you to do with regards to seperating plans?

He wants to know what I see in terms of who sees the kids when and where and all that. He's trying to accommodate me, which just hurts even more, crazy as that sounds.

When he said last night that I deserved someone who loved me, I just wanted to DIE. Would he really not be jealous at all of another man??? And then of course I wonder how I could ever trust anyone again after this--if the guy who professed to love me so much for so long can turn like this, then who can be trusted?

I am sitting in my living room right now. On the left of me is a framed photo of H&I kissing; across the room is a photo of us looking lovingly at each other on a mountaintop. Over the piano is a photo of us with the girls.

Is something wrong with me that I feel so awful, literally sick with sadness? What do I do when I go on with my life and I see these photos and letters? This echoes my childhood just too much, as I've mentioned here before. I have all these photos and letters from my adoring father, who then killed himself and I spent my whole life trying to understand that. I just don't have it in me to do that again with my M, which was the port in the storm for me. What if I really don't have it in me to cope with this?