You never know, why..I think..until the next level is reached.
But, what is the next level? Lets see if I can explain it and you can send the hate mail or whatever..lol.
I find it a liitle strange now, but several months ago, I would have done anything to have my W back. I also remember being blind thinking her "actions" were fine as long as she found who she was. Now, looking back, I cant imagine possibly entertaining that idea without a lot of talking and time.
But, time DOES heal you if you let it. Time also allows you to expand your perspectives on what you were like then, to now..(provided you went through your reinvention of yourself)..and realized, this woman has lost it badly..
Sorry, that might sound mean...we all have a different definition of normal, but what my W has done over the past 2 years was not her. But it took me to almost completely detach from her lovingly of course, to see this.
I guess love is blind...maybe a little irrational or misplaced at times too.
Now, I am happy for her that she is happy, even if it is with OM..better than what she was doing. Jesus said..
Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
So I realized once I let go and became happy, and happy for her...like u Bill..I reached a new level. One that helped me move on and GAL even more. Now do I still feel like a broken-hearted schoolboy sometimes? Absolutely. But I know I also get better each and every day.
Sometimes I feel I am only upset because I lost the security of someone to call, come home to, sleep in bed with, raise my kids with, go places with...the familiarity. But that sounds superficial and selfish to me at times..because I can get those same things without being married or even being in a R.
As far as the waiting...like I said before..If you wait and be faithful in God's timetable...the reward will be well worth it..that He guarantees. But, what will be the reward...having to wait for your ex to come back, or just becoming a newer and better version of you, and maybe finding a new R with someone that you wont make the same mistakes with?
That is the choice you are faced with....and thats when you let God really take over..He will show you that patience is a virtue.
